Our Dossier, is on the way!

(Please read that title as the cheesy rhyme it was intended to be)

Well I’ll be darned! Our dossier is on its way to Bulgaria, estimated delivery is 9 days from now (not nearly soon enough for me, but what is?)

We had some bittersweet news about the kiddo we applied for. I believe we have baby K on hold (can I say baby if its really a toddler?), although nobody will actually say as much. I saw a post in a facebook group made by the other interested family, saying that they were too late! We have heard no such news and were told we had a month to provide our revised list of acceptable special needs to match the kiddo (yes, you apparently need to add BY HAND that you would accept a child with a UTI….who would ever say no based on that? But I digress…) so I would say things are looking great for us!

The bitter part of the news is that I ended up speaking with the other prospective mama over facebook, and she is really lovely..and disappointed. Immediately I felt bad for wanting to beat them to the punch. This was never supposed to be competitive anyways! It did really give me perspective though… we both prayed to the same God, and one of us had to hear “No.” because only one could possibly hear “Yes.” or “Maybe.” I am going to try and remember that… sometimes it really isn’t all about you. 

The other sobering piece is that baby’s needs have the potential to be much higher than what we could know from just looking at pictures, video, and a short advocates summary. We spoke to an adoption Doc and went over the medical report and I will be honest, I didn’t know if we could deal. But hope that is seen is no hope at all, who hopes for what he already has? [Romans 8:24] 

Wow. How true. Of course you can have all the faith in the world when you have doctors to tell you that everything is all good. When you can see and touch your baby and you know they got the best possible version of their need. But that isn’t really faith or hope is it? That’s seeing and believing. We knew going into this that we would never have the full information about our kid, but getting more information has us scared. Well that’s kind of silly isn’t it? Better to know and to prepare for the possibilities than to be a very startled ostrich!

Honestly I can now see this situation as the pregnancy that it kinda sorta is… Our baby has several semi-repaired birth defects. Defects that occur in 1 of 20,000 births regardless of prenatal care, genetics (as far as they know), or other factors. Essentially, we got pregnant with this baby and we didn’t know the needs until a certain point in this pregnancy, just like our birth mom. How crazy is that!? I feel very honoured to have the opportunity to go through some of these stages, even if they aren’t always super fun, I can draw comparisons that other adoptive mamas can’t. When you think of it in this light, there isn’t much you wouldn’t do for your babies! And whether baby is born to us or not, this child requires the same care.

I tried to think of a clever way to coin a Thursday epiphanies phrase to end this rather dramatic post, but its pretty late, so nothing is coming. A very merry Thurspiphany to us all!!



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