When Your Dating Life Comes Back

Phew! It’s been quite a year-and-a-bit with the ole love life. We have finally hired a babysitter with no genetic connection to us and we are trying to invest in our relationship again! At first of course we didn’t want just anyone watching Siobhan because we were trying to build a connection with her and she was a very tough nut to crack. We are 15 months post adoption and I can say now that we have a solid bond. Jason and her bonded almost instantly, but as the main caretaker she had a pretty “take it or leave it” opinion of our relationship. She’s still not going to go out of her way to sit with me, but I’m resigned to the fact that touch is NOT one of her love languages.

Anyways… This week Jason and I managed to not only go for coffee and run an errand together on Tuesday, but also plan a movie date for tonight (Thursday.) Is it just me or is it awkward trying to date your husband after a whole year of child rearing?? Going somewhere for no reason?? Whaaaa?

If I could do it all over again (which we kind of are) I would NOT wait so long to try and carve out some couple time. The transition from being married to being parents makes dating your spouse a conundrum that you won’t have ever experienced before. Lots of people talk about parent dates as something you just forgot to do for a while, but in reality it’s something you’ve NEVER done. Never before when you wanted to go for coffee or dinner or a movie did you need to not only plan ahead, but also schedule with a third party!  I also had to get over my deep loathing of “being a pain” and actually ask someone else to look after my child. I think that’s the real reason it takes so long to find that balance, because you spend the first year waiting for that inevitable day where you’re alone in the evening and have nothing to do. Sadly my friends, that day is not coming. It may come in another 5 years when the kids all happen to be at sleepovers, but I’d rather not wait for it.

How do you find time together? What do you do with it? I was reading a suggestion earlier this week of going to a bookstore and getting a coffee while you browse. This just about sounds like heaven. A latte with my bestie where everyone just KNOWS to be quiet? Yes. Please. (And it’s almost free!)


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